RING RING!

Here it is little monsters! The GaGaBlogBlog. As a feminist/blogger/gaga/popculture fan I have been DYING (gaga poisoned me with her awesomeness) to discuss this video!
While most of you might expect me to say the video was incredible and liberating to women and rant on and on about how great GaGa is… I’m not going to do that. Here is my thesis, take it or leave it: While Gaga’s video has some emanciptory power for females, and is incredibly aesthetically pleasing, but parts of it are also problematic. Given that however, Gaga is one of the few artists who dares to be different and weird, or make a statement, and there will never be one perfect piece of art that will be post-racial, or post-feminist.

So let’s jump in to it. I am ready to go to the Prison for Bitches and start makin’ sandwiches!



We enter the video as Gaga enters the Prison For Bitches. Some women find the word bitch incredibly offensive, while others use it in a liberating loving sense. Either way, the statement here is that Gaga is a bitch and is being punished for it. This is either to get people thinking about whether “bitch” is a bad thing or not, or it could be more general: “I’m a bitch… and I don’t care. Through me in jail. Sue me.” She also has some of the biggest shoulder pads I have ever seen, and being such a radical shoulder-pad fan, I whole heartedly approve! Her outfit addresses her sexuality as seen as a dangerous threat to society. She is wearing prison garb (obviously, she is in prison) with a deep plunging V. What I love about it is the X’s over her nipples. This is bad ass to me. Normally the black X is reserved for things that are dead or dangerous (smiley face with X eyes, Toxic things, ect). The fact that the dress is open and her breasts are literally falling out of them (she doesn’t seem to care either) but they have the X’s over them, say to me: You think my sexuality is dangerous, but I don’t care, I’m letting it all hang out!” Which = Badassness. Also, the whole female prison thing, can seem a little Male-gaze-y. (Male gaze: females being sexual, not for themselves, but constructed for a man to gaze on her and find her appealing. This leads to females doing/acting/being sexual in ways that they would not normally do/act or be, OR they would normally do it, but are then subsequently objectified. Kind of a shotty hodge-podge definition, but it works for the time being). Ohhh, a bunch of hot chicks who are “bad” together…hot! But I love that Gaga has drag queen guards, and the women in the prison are a really uncomfortable mix of male and female, and you don’t really know what to do with it in your head. Also, I NEED these shoes. Amazing.

NOW: The Vagina flash! I LOVE that Gaga uses peoples weird transphobic rumors to her advantage. And Starting out the music video with your vagina is pretty cray cray, but I love it. Talk about vag power! However, I feel like Gaga almost keeps bringing it up over and over just to bring attention to herself, its like “yeah. We get it. You aren’t a dude.” It seems a bit self serving. And to be honest… I loved the Gaga that is like “Yeah I have a dick and its bigger than yours” and poses with strap-ons. I don’t think flashing her vag was necessarily necessary. After I broke up with a boyfriend, I had a person (who shall go unnamed!) ask me if I was a Lesbian, which I thought was ridiculous. One, he had not right to ask about my sexuality, and he has known me since I was a child, and KNOWS that I am straight and was just doing it to bug me. Two, Who cares???? So I told him I was a lesbian in a really sarcastic tone just to confuse him. Haha. When people KNOW that you aren’t something, but bring it up just to bug you or be homophobic… TRUST me it is WAY funnier and way more entertaining to be like “Yup.” Keeps em’ guessing, and makes the statement of “Who cares?” without actually having to make the statement. But if you want to take the Gaga approach and flash your vag, more power to ya. That definitely works. I also liked the dialogue “I told you she didn’t have a dick” –“Too bad.” The way I heard that? “I knew she didn’t have a dick.. but I liked talking shit about her and being transphobe… damn! Now we can’t have fun anymore!”
Ok, TO THE EXERCISE YARD!!!!

Gaga’s cigarette sunglasses are absolutely ridiculous. I love that they are lit though, hilarious. Gaga makes me laugh because its like… she takes herself seriously… but not at the same time. But this is one of the problematic issues with the video… and some people may think I am taking it too seriously, so take this with a grain of salt, but I am always very weary of anything that makes smoking seem “cool.” Especially since women and cigarette companies have a bit of a sordid past. However, my first reaction was “Oh my God Gaga is ammaazzziinnnngggg! Those glasses are ridiculous and I love them!!!!” Their potentially problematic nature was an afterthought! Haha. One problem I have with the prison for bitches is the depictions of race. Like I said earlier, no one piece of art, or music video, or film or television is EVER going to have it right. I think the best blog anecdote about race in this video is from Feministe. She writes:
“Okay, great, your video has some people of color in it. At least it’s not like you are pretending that those people aren’t on the planet, which is a creepy thing that white people do sometimes with their movies. However, I keep getting the sense that we are heading toward some (oy) “postmodern” treatment of race here, where race is just a toy or a text or a trope like everything else, that you get to play around with from your own privileged position, including and incorporating the stereotypes as it suits you because your IRONIC DISTANCE is just that powerful. It’s probably meant to demonstrate how smart you are about race, but it comes across as exoticizing and fetishizing, and thereby falls into the same pit as most “postracial” discourse, where by pretending to be above or beyond racism you really just wind up playing into it.”

Back to the exercise yard!

Oh, what’s that on the radio? Paper Gangsta! While this seems a little bit self serving and like her own product placement, every Gaga fan heard that song on the radio and thought to themselves “PPPEERRRFFFFEEECCCTTTTT” in big bold caps lock letters! “Paper Gangsta” is about a woman who refuses to date losers. “Don’t want no paper gangsta, won’t sign away my life to someone who’s got the flavor, but don’t got the follow through. I don’t do funny business, not interested in fakers.” To me, the fact that THAT song is playing in the background says “Yeah, sorry about not fitting into your bullshit fake ideal about what a woman should be...but I’m not going to do that. Ever. Throw me in the “Prison for bitches” if you must. It’s not me…it’s you. YOU all need to shape up, I don’t want no paper gangsta. And if you don’t… I’m going to start dating girls.” Haha, which leads us ttttooooo: The queer kiss!

Here’s what I love. Usually, when we see Girl on Girl action, it is between two incredibly “standardly” supermodely beautiful women. This is NOT the case. The woman in this kiss is comparatively really really masculine. (Here is an article about her.) Which is awesome because it isn’t so Male-Gaze-y like most girl on girl kisses we see in pop culture. If anything, I think it might make men uncomfortable, which could be great. It also gives the audience something to think about: “How do you view sexuality and lesbians? Or Bi or trans people?”

Urgh. But now on to the problematic stuff. The product placement in this video is OUT OF CONTROL. Is it commentary on how product placement is out of control? Maybe. But in the end…ITS STILL PRODUCT PLACEMENT. Stephen Colbert does this allll the time, and it drives me crazy. It’s like “if we joke about it, its ok.” Not to me. I still don’t like it. Gaga is so mysterious and sexy and amazing in her own way…. When I am watching her videos, I don’t to think that this is all an act to get some corporation money. Especially in the sexy parts of the video. Womens sexuality is used to sell products ALL THE TIME, and when I see Gaga grab the crotch of another woman, then slowly glide her hand up to grab a Virgin Mobile phone out of her pocket… it makes me feel like, this all indeed is just to sell Shelby Scott a product. Which I hate. Boooo consumerism!
But now on to some quality product placement. It looks like Kendall Barnett got into a fight with Gaga… and ta-da! The Coke can hair rollers!!!!

I haven’t talked to anyone who wasn’t completely in love with them. This is gagaloo ridiculousness to the max. Gaga makes me giggle. A lot. But I love it. Right after I saw this I was like “I want to do it.” Talk about a crazy fashion trend! I hope I see some fierce bitch walking around the street with this hair don’t. I would be his/her friend immediately. I know I just said that I hate product placement… but no one is perfect. I love this product placement.
SCENE CHANGE: Oh man! Beyonce just called! Time for an underwear dance party! This is a part I have mixed feelings about. I am not a big fan of how naked she is. This seems a little bit like any other pop video. I did like the “Gaga’s body/sexuality as crime scene” outfit though, even though that whole part was totally freaky and reminded me of a scary movie.

So Beyonce gets Gaga out of the Prison for Bitches, LOADS of product placement happening here (Beats by Dr. Dre computer, Plenty O’ Fish online dating website, which I think it REALLY ridiculous) and then Gaga does a sassy little MJ homage dance as she is getting out of Prison which I love. Gaga jumps into Quentin Tarintino’s “Pussy Wagon” and her hat is blocking the driver. Pull back the hat andOMGBEYONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We love. These girls are single handedly RULING the pop scene right now, which makes it totally natural that they would duet together, but it is also bizarre at the same time because their styles are so different, which makes it that much crazier and amazing! And everyone KNEW that Beyonce was in on this song, and so the anticipation of her appearing in the video was BIG, and the slow pull back of that hat was painfully perfect. Again, all fans were like “yyyyeeeessssssss”

Ok, so then we have this REALLY awkward dialogue between “Honey B” and “bad bad girl gaga”

“You know what they say, once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger”

I feel like that line was infamous instantly because of how ridiculous it was. The kiddies loved it.

But then there is this whole thing about trust and a cracked mirror, and everyone was like “ummm…. What?”

THEN Beyonce totally gets the shaft… I mean I guess it’s the Gaga show… but Beyonce has an AMAZING part in this song, and all they are doing is taking polaroids (more uncreative snoozefest annoying self serving product placement: gaga is the new creative director for Polaroid) I would have LOVED to have seen a Beyonce dance sequence, but oh well. What is done is done.
Now the video really starts getting bizarre. And really violent. More bizarre and violent than the first half. So we get to the shitty diner and we met Tyrese, who gets to represent all male on female oppression. “Where you been bitch?” he asks Beyonce. Further putting the word “bitch” into question. Then he looks at her boobs. Typical. Sigh. He is doing a great job at this whole representing oppression thing.

Then he walks up and starts picking fights with dudes and smacking girls asses, so we learn that not only is he a sexist, but he is also just an asshole. SPOILER ALERT: This makes killing him off MUCH easier to tolerate. Oh, and just in case you didn’t notice that this chick is Asian, here are some asian-y subtitles.

So Beyonce and Gaga have teamed up in a sisterhood to fight this oppression. Beyonce poisons Tyrese’s coffee, while Gaga is in the back of the diner… in my favorite scene in the WHOLE VIDEO.

LETS MAKE A SANDWICH!!!!!!!!
This scene is brilliant. First off… Gagas self seriousness is incredible. This scene is soooo ridiculous…. But she is serious. I’m in love. You be a crazy face Gaga, we got yo’ back! I laughed really really hard when I saw this, but I was also in love with it, which I think is kind of the point. I think Gaga wants us to be having a good time when we watch her videos. What I love about this is the play on the whole “Women should be in the kitchen” trope. Gaga, (and the rest of us women) are in a metaphorical kitchen: The world we as women live in. While we are no longer (for the most part) expected to be bare foot in the kitchen holding our babies, there still are still a lot of things we women have to face today: our bodies being sectioned off and portioned out in advertisements to sell products. Females not being taken seriously in politics and business. If a female runs for president she is either too femmy, hot, and dumb, or is a bitch, pant-suit wearing, dyke haircut rockin’, ball buster. Sigh. Yes indeed, we as females often live in a metaphorical kitchen of sorts. So here is Gaga, in her sisterhood with Beyonce, and with a cast of gay bakers in the background, being an evil feminist chef, serving up some hot hot revenge.

In the midst of all this… Beyonce is looking AMAZING. She is just sitting in some random back hotel room looking awesome. And Gaga has this amazing phone hat that blows my mind. I want one.



And then my OTHER favorite part is one of the backup dancers totally upstages Gaga with a lettuce phone. Who knew GAGA could be upstaged????

This music video is sooo violent, which I don’t like. But at the same time, would it be as powerful if it weren’t? I find violence extremely problematic. I don’t want to say I am a pacifist… because that sounds really “pretentious hippie” to me… but yeah, I guess I am a pacifist and I don’t find violence to be funny, cool, or appropriate. However, I get the idea, I get where she is going, and it is kind of badass, which I like. Beyonce gets to be bad and say the F word, which we like. Beyonce is at the point in her career where she can get away with pretty much anything and people will be obsessed with it.

The violence in this video makes me really uncomfortable when.. .OMG. WHAT? Really??? REALLY???

Ahhh shit ya'll. Aint nobody get in Gaga's way!!! We had to kill the dog too???? Poor Spike. (Funny how everyone is so upset about animals..like when you see a homeless guy with a dog you think ‘I wonder how that dog is going to get fed’ or for example, when I saw Titanic, I was like ‘Oh no! All those dogs are going to die!’)

Then after they are done killing everyone, including the dog, Beyonce and Gaga bust out in these Patriotic stars and stripes wonder woman type outfits. They are disgusting and trashy, but that is kind of the point. They are in this trashy diner, and they are supposed to be representing every woman who has ever been abused or oppressed, AND they are supposed to be WONDERWOMAN!

Gaga is the evil feminist baker, and Beyonce is her sidekick, and together they are liberating women alllll across America. This is a little cocky.. but of course I love it. And I do feel like they are legit leaders for women. Yeah, performing for the masses in your underwear to make a profit for the industry can be oppressive, but at the same time, both Beyonce and Gaga are known for being the “Head bitch in charge” strong woman type. Me likey. Acting like wonder woman is a bit lofty, but I love it. Feministe had some particularly funny commentary: “And now Lady Gaga is just dancing around looking like Brett Michaels. Beyonce looks like Wonder Woman. That’s why she is Beyonce: you can put the stupidest shit on that woman’s body, and people are suddenly like, “my, that bustier made entirely of ham is STUNNING!” It doesn’t even matter that she’s a bad actress. You point that out to people and they’re like, “fuck good acting! I never realized how much I hated good acting until this moment! I want what Beyonce’s doing!” Kanye West is a victim of many things, but one of the chief things he is a victim of is just saying what everybody is always already thinking about Beyonce. He succumbed to her power! As we all have! We cannot blame Kanye, just as we cannot blame a moth who draws too close to the candle flame and is burnt.”
Then finally Beyonce and Gaga take off in the Pussy Wagon, leaving Jai from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy to report on the “Telephone effect” and giving props to the gay community who are part of Gagas large fan base.

And in the end, we learn that it is a kitties world! And Beyonce and Gaga are running the show for us. Set back and enjoy the ride. Because if you don’t, they will probably kill you.


I will leave you with ONE MORE piece from the Feministe article, because I feel like it was sooo well written. She is talking about how her and friend were talking about the “Bad Romance video”
“A friend was talking to me, and she was like, “I can’t figure out why that video makes me so happy.” And I was like, “because it sets you up to see Gaga’s sexuality as a way that she can be oppressed or hurt, and then it tells you to see her sexuality as a way for her to be powerful and victorious, and the transition from one way of seeing to the other is really great.” And she was like “yes, probably, but also I think I like the outfits and dancing!” And that is why people make fun of me when I talk about Lady Gaga. But, let’s be honest: We can poke fun at Gaga, and her self-seriousness, and we can disagree with her feminist statements or her statements about sexuality, or say that they don’t quite work — I think the “Telephone” video does not quite work, personally — but we can’t say she’s not making statements. She is. And they tend to be, as statements by pop stars go, more interesting and smart and provocative than those of her peers.) So anyway, we could regard “Telephone” as the logical next step from the “Bad Romance” video, I suppose: there’s a mean boy, and a girl getting her revenge on him, and also some really ridonkulous revenge dancing, but this time, instead of one girl getting revenge all by herself, there are just so many women interacting with each other in so many ways — fighting, yes, and hurting each other, but also kissing and talking and making friends and touching each others’ crotches in a helpful manner and providing support. This video presents community between women as this very powerful, dangerous, thrilling space. And sex is included in that, as one of the ways women connect with each other; the connection is invariably eroticized, pretty strongly. Female space is also presented as something you can escape into and find strength from, specifically strength to resist dudes who treat you crapfully, and that strength to resist dudes (who you might also have sex with, it is implied) is tied to the eroticization of women, throughout. It’s all a little like that Adrienne Rich essay, which I do have some small problems with on the levels of essentialism and reliance on some not-so-great sources, but which is nevertheless really good. My point is, when was the last time you thought to describe a pop star’s music video with, “this reminds me of that Adrienne Rich essay?” Yeah. Stop trying to deny Gaga. Even when her videos are not that good — this one, for example, is not! — you cannot simply scoot her out of the discussion.”