If you aren't overwhelmed you aren't thinking hard enough.

I was sitting in my liberal studies class called "Surveillance and Culture" and we were talking about all the new technology for surveillance. People in the class decided that it can be creepy, beneficial, an invasion of privacy, a protection of privacy, ect. My brain started spinning with questions like "Is the news about Haiti considered 'journalism' or is it disaster porn and voyeurism?" I began to feel overwhelmed. Surveillance can be beneficial AND extremely harmful at the same time? So how do we negotiate? This is often how I feel about the women's movement. I am get really overwhelmed sometimes. Overwhelmed with the things that need to be done. Overwhelmed by the feeling that even if I KNOW what needs to be done, it will be too much work. Overwhelmed by the feeling that even if I KNOW what needs to be done, and am committed to the work, that I will be doing it in the wrong way. Overwhelmed by the feeling that every article I write, every blog I draft, every single thing that comes out of my mouth, or is marked down by the pen I hold will have a consequence, and that it won't be articulate or nuanced enough to actually make or difference, or even worse, be harmful to someone. But then I thought to myself: "I bet that is how it's supposed to be. If you aren't overwhelmed by life... you probably aren't thinking hard enough." So how do we cope with being overwhelmed?

1. Acknowledge that it's a good thing. Check.

I was reading a post by someone in the Feministing community and she quoted Rebecca Solnit, who said:
"All revolutions fail because they set their sights heaven-high, but none of them fail to do something, and many increase the amount of liberty, justice, and hope for their heirs." and then she went on to write: "Each generation, I suppose, keeps building on the next's beautiful failures."

This made me feel better. :) and leads me to number 2. Acknowledge that you will fail, but that the future generations will pick up where you left off. Acknowledge that the "failure" isn't really a "failure" just the beginnings or middle parts of an ongoing beautiful process of growth.

This post is incredibly self serving. I am trying to convince myself that even though I am overwhelmed and feel like running away forever and hiding under a rock..... or being too scared to put my thoughts out there because they might be wrong or harmful....that ultimately it will all be ok.

I am Shelby Leanne. I worry too much. But somehow.....somehow I am optimistic. I don't know how I ended up this way.

Love and Electricity,
Shelby Leanne.